The Power of Great Listening
👂Great Listening:
Waiting for my turn to talk?
Trying to understand what the other person is saying?
There’s nothing deeper, is there?
It turns out great listening is actually much deeper than is commonly recognised.
We’ve been listening since we were born! It doesn’t seem to be a hard skill at all. How can there be whole books and courses about listening? Why are Sarah and Flora writing about it; surely there is nothing new to say?
👂Great listening is actually quite hard to do.
--Great listening means I restrain myself from talking or even thinking about myself.
--I let the other person fully finish what they are saying.
--I leave a pause for them to keep talking if they want to.
--After the person finishes, instead of talking about myself or my ideas, I reflect what I have heard or ask a curious follow-up question.
👂Great listening builds trust.
--The other person realises that I really understand what they are saying, thanks to my reflection of their words and my restraint.
--The other person has space and time to share their ideas.
--The other person knows they won’t be interrupted by me.
👂Great listening is empowering.
--I keep reflecting and clarifying until the other person feels fully heard and understood.
--My silences convey that I trust them to think through their topic.
--My restraint from interrupting communicates that they are valuable.
Resources about listening:
📕Listening Well by William R Miller
📕Time to Think by Nancy Kline
📕Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg
📕The Coaching Habit by 📚 Michael Bungay Stanier
📕For educators: Motivational Interviewing in Schools by Stephen Rollnick, Sebastian G Kaplan, and Richard Rutschman
The sticky notes in the picture are from our Coaching Skills for Leadership workshop hosted at Overseas Family School. Thanks to Neisha Pratt and Richard Petherick OLY for organsing workshops with the middle leaders, investing in their professional development. The leaders were so reflective and thoughtful and it was an exciting morning spent with them.
👂When have you felt deeply listened to? How did it impact you?
