“What’s the real challenge here for you?”

What's the real challenge here for you?

The first challenge someone mentions is rarely the real challenge. The first thing a person says is usually just the thing they are most comfortable opening with. We need to listen more and stay curious to find out what is behind their first description.

This question was mentioned by Michael Bungay Stanier as an antidote to our "advice monster" - that habit we tend to have of giving another person advice about their topic, whatever it is. When we give advice, we implicitly communicate that they are not able to find the solution themselves, and hence we disempower the other person. But when we ask curious questions, we empower them to find their own solutions.

We recognise that sometimes we give advice to sound helpful or clever. But we've resolved to ask questions instead. How do you tame your advice monster?

Hat tip to Samantha Chesler who shared the Stanier video with us, via our PeerSphere community. Find the video here for more inspiration.