Being “International” is Not Enough

Being an international child in an international family who attends an international school can lead to a lot of cultural benefits - and challenges. How can we help children enhance the benefits and learn from the challenges?

Children (and adults) who live internationally often gain valuable lessons about culture without realising it. They can switch between chopsticks and fork and knife, they know when to speak in different languages or styles, and they learn how to fit in with many other people. Often they cope with their highly mobile lives through observation and adaptation in each cultural environment. Children are especially good at this.

“Cultural cues and nuances are picked up unknowingly from our environment,” say Pollock, Reken, and Pollock, in their book Third Culture Kids. This means children who live cross-culturally gain knowledge and skills about other cultures almost by osmosis. This can sometimes lead to a deep sense of belonging for international kids - or the complete opposite.

Some international kids (and adults) feel they belong nowhere, even while they are able to adapt in several cultures.

What about technology and its ability to connect us to other cultures? “Even some educators from international schools have stated that with all the new technological changes, third culture kids (TCKs) no longer have any cultural adjustment ‘problems.’ In fact, some have seemed almost dismissive. One principal from an international school… said emphatically that his students had none of the these TCK challenges because they went online every morning to read the newspapers from their passport countries.”

Unfortunately, reading news from another country, or scrolling through social media produced in other countries, is not enough to understand another culture. Children who grow up internationally have the benefits of understanding their host culture, and may actually find it harder to relate to their parents’ home cultures.

[This photo has been edited to keep students’ identities anonymous]

How can we help international children to gain the benefits of adaption to other cultures while also helping them feel at home in several cultures?

Conversation is key. Teachers and parents can seek to converse with children about their experiences. Also key is making expectations clear when international children may not have the background knowledge about routines. Here are some examples.

Exploring A Child’s International Experiences

🥢🍴 How is this school/place the same as or different from what you’ve experienced before?

🥢🍴 What makes you feel comfortable in the classroom/at home?

🥢🍴 There are people from many backgrounds here. We appreciate differences. So please talk with me about what strikes you as different from what you’re used to or what could be improved.

🥢🍴 What did you like about your previous school/home?

🥢🍴 I’m finding this unusual. I guess it’s normal to feel a bit out of place from time to time. Do you ever feel that way?

Making Expectations Explicit

🥢🍴 Would it be helpful if I share about how we do things in this school/classroom?

🥢🍴 Would it be useful for me to pair you up with a buddy who has been a here a little longer and knows what new beginnings are like?

🥢🍴 The next thing we are going to do is xxx. Here’s what it might be like.

What would you add to help international children feel at home in many cultures?