When the Thinker says, “I don’t know”

✨ Coaching Insight of the Week: Tackling "I Don’t Know" in Conversations✨

“I don’t know”—a common response we often encounter in coaching sessions. But what’s behind that answer? 🤔 This week at Tanglin Trust School Coaching Hub, we explored the potential reasons for it and shared strategies to navigate this moment with empathy and curiosity.

Here’s what we discovered:

🌱 The Power of Listening & Silence
Sometimes, the best thing we can do is listen and create space for our clients to think. A few moments of silence can be incredibly powerful—it not only promotes deeper reflection but also creates a safe, non-judgmental environment where clients feel comfortable exploring their thoughts without fear of being wrong.

🌱 The Art of Asking Exploring Questions
Exploring questions are key to helping clients, especially those with cloudy minds or limited experience, gain clarity. By encouraging them to view situations from different perspectives, we empower them to move from uncertainty to insight.

💡 Introducing "Taking a Friendly Guess"
One technique we tried during our session comes from the book Solution-Focused Coaching in Asia—taking a friendly guess. This method is particularly effective when working with teenagers or clients who might struggle to express themselves.

Here are a few tips for using this approach:

Ask Permission – Always ask for permission, and encourage your client to correct or add to it. This keeps the conversation collaborative and respectful.

Use a Tentative Tone – Frame your guesses as neutral and non-judgmental. The goal is to spark thought, not impose a solution.

Make Well-Intentioned Guesses – Rather than saying, "You're afraid to speak up," try something like, "You might be looking for a way to contribute more in class." The key is to keep the guess positive and open-ended.

💬 As a coach, how do YOU handle "I don't know" answers in your sessions?

Share your thoughts or experiences with us on Linkedin.